The Council of The United Provincess is a massive, efficient nation, ruled by Zora Elsevier with an iron fist, and remarkable for its teetotalling pirates, public floggings, and restrictive gun laws. The hard-nosed, cynical, devout population of 2.91 billion United Provincessians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Industry, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Havenfalls. The average income tax rate is 29.5%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The thriving United Provincessian economy, worth 247 trillion silvers a year, is broadly diversified and dominated by the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Trout Farming, Automobile Manufacturing, and Door-to-door Insurance Sales. Average income is 85,180 silvers, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.6 times as much as the poorest.

Programmes of questionable content are shown at peak-hours, safety warnings are prohibited lest they give people ideas, over a third of the seats in sports stadiums have been removed to make room for female-only commodes, and commuters are denied boarding for attempting to bring packed lunches onto trains. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. The United Provincess's national animal is the fox, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Angles of Drakruto.

The United Provincess is ranked 257,860^th in the world and 2^nd in Calico for Highest Food Quality, scoring 7.25 on the Meeshlin-Starr Index.